Dear Family,
Marine life suits me just fine! Tell the boys they’re working ten times harder for old man Jenkins than I am here. We “sleep in” until 5am, then “work” consists of folding blankets and buffing shoes. No pre-dawn milking, no hauling feed sacks, no fixing fence lines in the rain.
The food’s fancier than I’m used to – all juices and cereals – but where’s the real breakfast? I’ve learned to sit near the coffee drinkers and “help” them with their plates. Our so-called “grueling marches” wouldn’t even get me to the south pasture back home. The city recruits collapse after what I’d call a pleasant stroll.
The officers are harmless enough. Sergeants do the scolding, captains watch, and the rest just ride around in jeeps looking official. You’ll get a kick out of this – I’m top marksman in my company! After shooting rabbits that won’t sit still, these paper targets might as well be barn doors. They even give us the bullets ready-made!
The hand-to-hand combat is laughable. These soft city kids bruise like peaches. There’s just one exception – a human tank from the next county over. I did flip him once, but mostly I just try not to get flattened. At my size, it’s like wrestling a fully grown steer!
Tell the brothers to enlist now before this sweet deal gets crowded.
Love,
