Humor makes life better, and these 11 jokes—ranging from bar antics to witty animals—are the perfect remedy for a dull day.
Picture this: A guy orders two shots daily—one for him, one for his absent brother. When he switches to one, the bartender worries. “Don’t,” says the man. “I just quit drinking.”
A trucker hauled 50 penguins. Told to take them to the zoo, he returns the next day with the same birds. “We went to the zoo,” he says. “Today’s beach day!”
A duck waddles into a bar, orders a beer, and claims he’s a plasterer. Later, when offered a circus gig, he’s baffled: “What would a circus do with a plasterer?”
A centipede’s owner keeps asking if he wants a beer. Finally, the centipede snaps: “I’m putting on 100 shoes! Give me a minute!”
An engineer fixes Hell’s broken AC and roads. God demands him back, but the devil refuses. “Sue me,” he dares. “Where’ll you find a lawyer?”
A lawyer fakes a high-stakes phone call to impress his first client—who’s just there to install his phone line.
A new farmer buys chicks by the hundreds. Asked about his success, he sighs, “I must be planting them wrong.”
A bachelor laments cookbooks assume he owns clean plates.
An office newbie shreds his document, then asks where the copies come out.
A desert survivor borrows a voice-activated horse. At a cliff’s edge, he yells, “Whoa! Amen!”—then accidentally says, “Thank God” and races off again.
And in a bar, a man hears phantom compliments. Turns out, it’s just the “complimentary” peanuts.
