Marriage keeps you on your toes – especially when your spouse turns your own psychological tricks against you. I learned this the hard way during what I now call “The Great Bread Incident.”
It started innocently enough. Knowing my husband never checks his phone, I’ve developed creative ways to ensure he sees important messages. That day, my grocery reminder read: “Don’t forget BREAD… and say hi to your girlfriend Valerie for me.”
The Valerie part was pure fiction – until he texted back: “How do you know about Valerie?”
Cue record scratch.
What followed was fifteen minutes of sheer panic as I:
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Convinced myself my 10-year marriage was over
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Speed-drove to our local bakery
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Nearly gave poor Mrs. Rosenbaum (actual customer) a heart attack with my frantic searching
Turns out my genius husband had anticipated my “fake mistress” tactic and turned it into an elaborate revenge scheme. The real kicker? “Valerie” was the bakery’s grandmotherly cashier we’d met once.
As I stood there holding a baguette and my dignity, his follow-up text arrived: “P.S. You owe me $5 for the bread. Love you mean it.”
The lesson? In marriage, always expect the unexpected. And maybe keep gluten-free bread on hand for revenge purposes.
