Premium economy seats don’t come cheap, which is why I wasn’t about to give mine up when Dave asked me to switch with his new bride in coach. His response? Turning our fourteen-hour flight into his personal revenge mission.
The coughing started first – dramatic, lung-rattling performances worthy of an Oscar. Then came the movie played at full volume (“Forgot my headphones!” he claimed with a smirk). When pretzel crumbs became his weapon of choice, I knew this wasn’t just bad manners – it was warfare.
The final battle came when Lia planted herself in Dave’s lap, whispering sweet nothings loud enough for the whole cabin to hear. That’s when I called in reinforcements – a no-nonsense flight attendant who banished them to economy. Their attempted “bathroom break” comeback failed spectacularly when I alerted the crew to their earlier antics. Watching them slink back to coach was better than any first-class amenity.
