Nothing brings a family together like shared laughter. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood at dinner or need entertainment for a long car ride, these wholesome jokes are perfect for all ages. Get ready for giggles, groans, and maybe even a snort or two!
A frustrated wife left a fake breakup note, then hid under the bed. Her husband came home, read it, and called his buddy: “She’s gone! Bring the French lingerie!” As he left, the wife saw his added note: “I see your feet. Getting bread—back soon.”
Three giggling grandmas bet an old man they could guess his age—if he dropped his pants. Embarrassed but curious, he did. “You’re 91!” they declared. “How?!” he gasped. One grinned. “We were at your birthday yesterday!”
A jealous man threw his fridge at a parked car, then died of shock. In heaven, St. Peter sent him to hell. The confused driver arrived next. “I was just sitting there!” Hell for him too. Then a shaking man appeared. “I was hiding in the fridge!”
A furious wife accused the pharmacist of insulting her. Her husband stormed in, demanding answers. The pharmacist groaned. “After my terrible day, your wife asked how to use a rectal thermometer. I said if she won’t listen, stick it in her mouth and taste it!”
Proud George told his doctor, “God turns the light on when I pee at night.” Later, the doctor called George’s wife. She laughed. “That old coot’s peeing in the fridge again!”
An elderly couple drove off after lunch, then realized the wife forgot her glasses. After a long U-turn, the husband sighed, “Grab my hat and credit card too.”
George announced his engagement. His dad took him aside. “Son, she’s your half-sister.” A year later, history repeated with Diane. When George confronted his mom, she said, “Good news—he’s not your real dad.”
At his 100th birthday, Grandpa credited his health to “75 years outdoors.” Impressed guests asked his routine. He winked. “My wife and I agreed whoever lost an argument would walk. I’ve taken many walks.”
A wife found a “Mary” note in her husband’s pocket. “It’s a horse I bet on!” he claimed. Days later, she slapped him. “Your horse called.”
A husband micromanaged his wife’s egg-frying. “More butter! Flip them! Salt them!” Fed up, she glared. He smiled. “Now you know how I feel when you backseat drive.”
A shopper praised a grandpa’s patience with his tantrum-throwing grandson. “You’re so calm with William!” The man chuckled. “I’m William. This is Kevin.”
Three moms bragged about their sons’ generosity: a Ferrari, a jet, a castle. The fourth said, “My stripper son got all three from his boyfriends last week.”
Ivan couldn’t find his wife in a store. He asked a woman to chat, explaining, “My wife appears when I talk to pretty ladies.” Like magic, his wife materialized.
Three forgetful sisters. One: “Was I getting in or out of the tub?” Two: “Wait, was I going up or down?” Three knocked on wood, then yelled, “I’ll help after I answer the door!”
A new salesman sold just one item—but it was a fishing hook, rod, boat, and truck to a man who came in for tampons. “Your weekend’s ruined—go fishing!”
A sick man told his friend, “My wife’s love is touching. When the mailman comes, she shouts, ‘My husband’s home!’”
Grandma reminisced: “Remember holding my hand?” Grandpa did. “And kissing my cheek?” He obliged. “And nibbling my ear?” Grandpa stood. “Where are you going?” “To get my teeth!”
A groom wore socks for smelly feet; his bride brushed early for morning breath. One morning, he panicked. “You swallowed my sock!”
Two husbands compared sneaking home. One tiptoed—still got caught. The other slammed doors and asked, “Wanna make love?” His wife pretended to sleep every time.
Two friends played cards. One forgot the other’s name. “How soon do you need to know?”
The “Husband Store’s” top floor sign: “You’re visitor 31,456,012. This floor proves women are impossible to please.”
Bob forgot his anniversary. His wife demanded a driveway surprise “that goes 0-200 in 6 seconds.” Next morning: a bathroom scale. Bob vanished.
A boy asked about human origins. Dad said Adam and Eve; Mom said monkeys. “Dad, you lied!” “No, she meant her side.”
John tested his wife’s hearing with silent calls. Finally, he shouted in her ear. She turned. “For the third time, YES!”
A woman cured her husband’s nail-biting by hiding his teeth.
At dinner, a boy asked if bugs were tasty. His dad scolded him. Later: “There was a bug in your soup, but it’s gone now.”
Laughter is contagious—pass it on at your next family gathering!
